I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
