if i can run in heels then i can drive
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
