You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
