Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
