you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
