well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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