My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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