Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
