i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
