just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Let's paint friendship bongs
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
