I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
