Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Randomize
