just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
