were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
