How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
