I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
