Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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