Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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