The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I need moral support for this bender
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
