well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
