You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
