Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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