Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
that is very illegal...i love you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
