Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
