Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
