Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
only if we run a train.
done.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
