whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
