can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
