i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
is it fun? or sober?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
