but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
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