I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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