Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
