is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
