first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
