She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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