Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
