I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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