wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Found the puke drawer
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
