Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
