I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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