I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
