I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
