Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Welp...herpes.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
