i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
