In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
