I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
