If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
