I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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