I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
