"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
