i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
