at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
