Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
