we have pet lesbian snakes
Can Purell be used as lube?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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